Thanks to my mom for making this one up

1. We worry about you. Let us know that you are a healthy young man and are dating someone... anyone.

2. Clean your bathroom occasionally. If I do a surprise visit, chances are my bladder won't wait until I make it home again.

3. Learn how to cook. You can't expect a cute girl to be on your doorstep every night with a home cooked meal. (Well, I was a cute girl once...)

4. Visit a mall twice a year to buy clean, unripped underwear. You never know when someone might see you in your skivies.

5. Let me know what you want for your birthday at least one week ahead of time. If not, I will assume that you still like Legos.

6. Stack your Playboy magazines nicely and cover them with a textbook. I promise I won't look.

7. Sheets should be washed every week and blankets should be washed before they start smelling like your shoes.

8. When you do come home, say hello to me before you start calling your friends. I need the reassurance that I still matter in your life.

9. Let me know at least 6 months before you get married.

10. Introduce me to the bride-to-be before you tell me you're getting married.

11. Let me brag about you. I have to keep up with the other mothers.

12. Don't call me in the middle of the night to ask me how to spell my name. You should know by now!